Janelle Monáe - Electric Lady [Official Video]
trying to convince at least one friend to go to toronto with me this weekend…wish me luck. lol.
I’ve not once wondered why I claim to not like strangers so much. It’s just become habit and I enjoy spending time with those I know. After explaining this to friend on Saturday night, following a rooftop party in Brooklyn I was so awkwardly standoffish at, I had an epiphany. It may have been fueled by two cups too much of tequila and orange juice, but it all made sense.
Before Hurricane Katrina I was the people’s champ. I was the “it” girl. Granted, I was only 16, but I was a popular girl – had loads of friends, envied by many, knew how to work a room (even if it was just a classroom or gym), and held many conversations with neighborhood regulars at the grocery store I worked at after school. It all came so easy.
After Hurricane Katrina, not only was there a shift in my atmosphere, there was a shift in my attitude. Those miles that separated me from those I loved the most, created the ultimate barrier that I would never let down even nearly ten years later. When I moved to Chicago, I probably didn’t mumble a word at school for at least a month. I was totally uninterested in anything anyone had to say, though I was the reason my mom and I made the trek to the Midwest. I was the new girl in the room and it was a feeling I never felt before. It wasn’t just about being new, it was about everything that came with it. I cringed at the thought of the countless self-introductions coupled with Hurricane Katrina horror stories those around me expected to hear. It made me anxious and uncomfortable and I can honestly say since then, in unknown spaces I’ve felt the very same way.
Each time I enter a new space, unknowingly, I revert back to that 16-year-old girl in a Chicago classroom sitting in the corner, fading to black. It only took me nine years and a couple makeshift tequila sunrises to figure this out.
Oh the relief.
No matter how awesome, good, caring, loving, etc. to a person you are, it sometimes just isn’t enough.
looking at really successful people your own age like “this could be me but i’m playin”
"she bad for real." - jay-z
had the time of my life. legit.